How am I gonna clean my bag,
my brand new bag,
the raindrops dried,
and left marks,
oh man, I want to cry already,
don't even know the material how to clean,
yeah, a selfish and insensitive person,
spoilt her bag, trying to shelter someone.
While cycling just now,
when I cycled near the bus terminal,
the big empty field near the Hougang Mrt,
I looked up at saw stars.
Many many stars,
I saw one which is three in row,
forming a straight line,
it wsa so beautiful,
so many stars in the night sky,
I just stoned there for a long time,
the sight was awesome.
A thought came to me,
my dad was the one,
who put these stars in their place,
he was the one who painted this beautiful picture,
every intricate detail is right,
why must I worry,
he is so great, so awesome,
Claire lim, just dump your problems to him,
he will settle it (:
Like a father paying credit card bills,
for his beloved daughter,
hahas, no link! I know!
I wanted to love, to care,
but I don't know how to show it,
all these feelings are hidden,
behind this stony, cold and expressionless face.
You all always say I lian chou chou,
you never knew how I felt.
Well, although I don't show it,
I do love and care for you all.
I already lost a grandma,
one of the most beloved person to me,
at the tender age of 7,
that was the greatest loss,
I experienced at that age,
even that the age of 14,
and it was 3rd october 1999,
I attended her funeral on my birthday.
She told me she wished to live another five years,
to see me grow up,
but doubt she will have the chance,
now, I'm going to lose another grandma,
others thought I didn't care at all.
It's almost like a traumastising experience,
seeing somebody you love,
with tubes sticking out from her body,
I don't want to face it.
I'm tearing while typing,
all the memories which I tried to avoid,
came flooding back.
Life will never be the same again,
since my first ah-ma past away,
the one who fed me, bathed me,
fetched me to school, played silly games with me,
told me stories, coloured my colouring book with me,
used the knife to sharpen my colouring pencils for me,
the one who took care of me,
when my parents were working.
She was the one who told me that,
if I was naughty just before bedtime,
my bed will runaway, or jump on all fours,
all these memories are still kept in a special corner of my heart,
I don't want to go through this again.
Give me strength,dad, I feel so helpless.
